#free
The Many Faces of Facebook
Generally speaking I have had a love hate relationship with Facebook. Right now I LOVE Facebook. I am sure that is evident to my Facebook friends with the continual posts throughout the run of a day! I think it’s a great form of communication and an opportunity to share with the world.
My thoughts about Facebook are that it is simply not just a social network that connects you with others. Our relationship with Facebook, in my opinion says much about our relationship with life itself. For the more private people, their posts are non-existent, comments occasional. For the extrovert, Facebook is a means in which they express themselves through status updates, plenty of “likes” and lots of posts. From the grand deletion of a friend to the suggestive pokes of a stranger. Facebook antics are the new constellation of the social enterprise.
References to Facebook related activities have become the norm in our conversations and topics of interest.
“Did you see what she wrote on Facebook?” or comments regarding the latest album posted or relationship status reveled are all examples of how Facebook is completely immersed in our social realm. Deleting a friend or family member whom you’re at war with is the new Cadillac of social stabs. This is like the nail in the coffin, F *& you kind of statement that speaks volumes of a person’s wishes for your relationship. If they’re off your Facebook, then surely they're off your mind? I've had it done to me by friends and family members and have also been the deleter. I find this antic more humorous than anything. It’s like the ripping up of photo’s after a breakup. Surely, that will wipe the slate of that relationship clean. However, the message is clear. Facebook has become so tightly woven into the fabric of our society that it’s often immersed in our day to day realities.
Facebook has opened up our personal lives in a way that hasn't existed before. It’s a snap shot of our lives, a photo album for the world to see. If you've been friended by someone on Facebook they’ll be sure to get a clear image of who you are. Are you fun, adventurous or a family man? We get to tweak the face we present to the world. Paint a canvas if you will of the image we want to present. We've become celebrities of our own social network offering only the most favorable of photos and clever of statuses. Surely we aren't going to put a picture up of the glass we broke last night during the raw fight we had with our partner. Those who do splash their personal business in their statuses are reprimanded through our social adjudication process. Whispering judgements conclude that Facebook is not the place to share your personal woes. Personally, I think it’s as funny as all hell when people post their relationship drama on Facebook. I don’t watch TV so this is kind of like the Jerry Springer of the Facebook world for me. What I like even more is the fact that they don’t care about other’s judgements of them.
So who gets to decide the social norms of this cyber society? Who decides what is tolerable and what is “outside the line” I guess it can be compared to a democracy of sorts where the people, through their posts and pictures govern what is “right” and “wrong”.
A girlfriend said the other day in conversation “Yeah she’s a little much on Facebook” meaning this girls statuses and jokes were too plentiful or were perhaps coloring outside the line of social networking.
This irritated me. I, for one thought this girl splashed a lot of life into the zombie like status’s that recite themselves day in and day out on Facebook. Just like the world takes plenty to go around, so does Facebook. What would Facebook be if everyone hopped on board with the silent Facebooker’s and quietly “crept “instead of partaking in the Facebook world?
To me, Facebook is a place in which you decide what you want it to be and use it in the manner you wish. Do you need a place to vent, then vent! Do you need a place to solicit advice from others? Solicit! Do you want to take countless pictures of yourself in the bathroom mirror, then snap away! Do you want to post a million jokes, quotes, facts, then POST away!
A behind the scenes social democracy has somehow drawn the general consensus about certain types of Facebook behaviors and the “laws” of our behavior when really their consensus is just a stuffy mirror of how that particular person feels about their owns lives. Ever notice the people saying the most are the ones who are so dreadfully guarded in their own approach to Facebook with their own activity so few and far between. Now, this is not to say I’m unaware of the defamation of character cases and cyber bullying that takes place on Facebook. This is not what I’m referring to. I’m talking harmless little rants.
My fellow Facebooker and Columnist Dave McLean writes his famous "rants" on his personal Facebook and here on Miramichi Online. I noticed he wasn't writing them as much and thought to myself.....has someone tried to put a lid on Dave? He says it like it is, means what he says and isn't afraid to say it! I value that in a person but I can only imagine the backlash he must have endured by our fellow adjudicators of the Facebook and Online community for .....gasp.....speaking his truth. Keep on keeping on Dave!
Personally, one of my biggest Facebook pet peeve`s are what I call the “Silent Facebookers” Those who never post anything, never “like” anything, never make a comment but you know they’re on there. There is something that just doesn't sit right with me about that. The even creepier part of that is that you know these people are always “online” on the chat and make continual references to Facebook in their conversations with friends. As a social network, aren't you supposed to be, well social?
If we got real philosophical about this, could it be translated to a deeper metaphor of how one interacts with life? Silently withdrawn, observing others, not partaking in much but keeping a watchful, often judgemental eye on others. I can’t quite open up my mind to see the reasoning behind these phantom Facebooker’s. Maybe they just have nothing exciting to offer and prefer to observe others. My judgement is definitely influenced by the fact that I’m such a communicator in every facet that I tend to liken everyone to my own tendencies. Some people prefer privacy, understandable, and probably don’t want everyone knowing their “business” but if you dig down real deep and question their motives it’s almost always a fear of judgement.
I pose this question to you. Is there anyone out there that knows ALL of you? Every facet of your character and personality. Does your grandmother know the same person that your best friend knows? Does your brother know the same person that your co-workers do? Does your long time boss know the same person your husband knows? If the answer is no, then ask yourself why not? Who taught us to do that, to shield certain parts of ourselves in a fear of being remanded by others?
My favorite reason why some people can’t be themselves around here is the ever so popular “I’m a teacher” reason. “I can’t be seen doing this or doing that.” Teachers are like the new Popes of Miramichi as I hear this reasoning often. I can certainly relate to wanting to be a role model of sorts but simply hiding certain parts of yourself doesn't make them disappear. Teachers having to be extra cautious of being human creates a hierarchical social system between them and their students. If we really dive deep into that reality how authentically are we living if you’re simply just hiding those parts of yourself from your students? I’m not a teacher but maybe some of you can offer some interesting perspectives in your comments below.
In the recent weeks I've come to learn that Facebook is on its way out and Twitter’s is the new thing. More people are apparently tweeting their thoughts but staying silent on Facebook. When did this happen? Do we have too much family on Facebook that we want to keep things private from? Will Twitter eventually be overtaken by relatives, co-workers and we’ll have to move onto another form of social media to express ourselves? Apparently, it’s been decided that Twitter is the place to “Tweet” your random thoughts and Facebook is more about news. Whatever that means.
Oh the intricacies of our social legislation. They exhaust me.
#andeveryonetalkslikethisontwittterwhichIdontquiteget
I wanna know who made that up because that has to be the stupidest thing I've ever seen!
The other night I attempted to tweet something and it auto responded back at me “You’re over the character limit, you’ll have to be more clever." I sat, mouth agape, certain that I had just been cyber insulted. At this point, I’m unsure about my feelings regarding Twitter. My ego is far too big to be told to be “more clever” in my Tweets. As well, if I start tweeting all my thoughts someone will surely decide sooner or later that Tweeter isn't for that either.
What’s behind our own interpretations of these social enterprises is the ruler in which we judge against. The societal norms that we so desperately need to create in order to have a sense of understanding in our lives. Our annoyances with people’s posts, our quiet judgements from our silent perch in life, our interpretation of other’s statuses and our gossip about them all serve a great underlying message to us.
On my personal Facebook I try to post as many positive, meaningful quotes and articles as I can. At this point in my life, I feel that people need to hear these things and need to be uplifted. It's not about preaching, it's about breathing a breath of fresh air into a world that is being swallowed whole by negativity. A few months back, I was kind of notorious for my outlandish Facebook status's and posting of what I think are hilarious Bluntcards. I guess it just went hand in hand to where I was at in that time in my life. That part of me hasn't disappeared or went away, I'm just focusing on different things now. What amazes me is how people have tried to somehow make sense of this shift in me. I've been criticized for being "phony" on Facebook or inauthentic. To me, this is just another perfect example of how people need to categorize other's in an attempt to make sense of the many evolutionary facets of a person's journey through life.
We all want to express ourselves whether it is on Twitter, Facebook, My Space or your own personal blog. The social enterprises are vast. What’s important is that we ALL have a story, no matter who you are. It’s neither right nor wrong, socially acceptable or unacceptable, it’s you. Your hand print, your authenticity.
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